One thing I've noticed is that I'm alomst always at least a little tired, unless I'm really excited. I'm tired so often, I use it as a kind of way to say everything's fine. Sometimes I'll be sad and someone will ask me "What's wrong?" or "Are you okay?" and 95% of the time I'll respond with "I'm fine, I'm just tired.
It's just a sort of immediate reaction I have, I don't even think about it. I never think of saying "Yeah, acctually, I feel crappy because I'm uncomfortable with the current conversation." or "Yeah, I just realized I'm a crappy person and I have no friends." (The second sentence doesn't apply to this year, but at the beginning of last year I felt that way.)
Going with the parenthases, I felt really depressed about that because I had one friend in school the year before and a few people I talked to occasionally if the frend was around, and that friend switched schools. At the time, I was seriously considering switching to my best friend's (Bonje's) school. I called her because I felt sad and wanted to talk to someone and broke out crying over the phone. I went to her house a day later and smiled. I reassuered her I was fine because I don't like to trouble people with my opinion or my feelings if it'll make them worry.
In the end, I stayed at my school because Bonje's school's children sounded horrible and crappy and I decided I'd rather stay somewhere I knew everyone's name.
Then I made friends and now everything's good.
Sorry about the boring post about my thoughts, maybe now you know me better.
No comments:
Post a Comment